Stop Focusing On Overeating & Food Guilt...

An ode to crème eggs
 
That’s what I was tempted to write to you this morning, an entire email dedicated to one of the greatest chocolates to ever grace this earth, a chocolate that has, in the past week, constituted a large part of my diet (my current pregnancy dietary pattern is as Mediterranean as I can, whilst honouring of my need for crème eggs)
 
I realised last week that I didn’t do a single post or email about ‘managing’ easter chocolate – how to avoid overeating, the guilt of eating more than planned, or navigating it so you don’t hit the fuck it button
 
It didn’t actually cross my mind
 
Not because this easter weekend I was too busy, too distracted or lacking inspiration for just how to articulate it, but rather, I hoped that instead of being lost in ‘navigating easter’ posts, you were lost in a restful bank holiday (in the UK at least) weekend
 
I hoped that you were distracted by loved ones, or the emerging blue skies, the spring-like mornings, a movie marathon or an additional few hours of sleep
 
That you were filling your time with additional wholehearted joy instead of wondering what to do about a lack of joy when it came to food
 
I’ve supported people with their relationships with food for nearly a decade, and as the time moves on, I realise more and more the impact of joy and social connection on food dynamics (often to an equal if not greater magnitude that things like mindfulness and self-compassion)
 
Times you might struggle more with your relationship with food (overeating; poor body image; over-restricting; binge eating; over exercising; under exercising; hormonal irregularities):
 
When feeling lonely; rejected; disconnected; bored; apathetic; stressed; uncertain; when stuck in your own head
 
I wonder, how many of these feelings might be soothed by social connection and joy?
 
We so often use food or exercise or our bodies in an attempt to remove these feelings, although of course when we do so, we simply brush them under the carpet, only for them to re-emerge at a later date, and for us to find ourselves stuck in unhelpful habits again
 
There’s a large element of nutritional regulation required: managing hunger; food neutrality; re-establishing trust in honouring hunger and fullness cues; replacing rigid restriction and control with flexibility
 
But the nutritional regulation part is largely required so we can figure out the rest
 
That’s why at ETPHD the process looks like nutritional regulation first, joy and wholehearted living second
 
I wonder if this weekend you can consider – where are the sources of joy and connection in my life, and if I feel they’re lacking (which they often are for many of us at different times in our lives), how can I be more intentional with that?
 
You may have heard of the Harvard study of adult development that highlighted that close relationships and social connections are crucial for our well-being as we age, that having supportive and nurturing relationships is a buffer against life’s stresses and protects overall health
 
The same is true for your peace within your body and relationship with food and self (at least, they’re certainly supportive of this)
 
This doesn’t have to look like romantic relationships
 
Honestly whenever I talk about love and relationships your mind always go there, to this idea that single means lonely and all will be healed when you meet the person of your dreams
 
Except we know that on average, single people are actually better connected than those who are married so let’s remove that limiting belief right now please thanks
 
Rather than trying your very hardest to avoid guilt or self-criticism or body checking or overeating, can you try your hardest to nurture joy and connection?
 
This doesn’t have to involve other people all the time – connection to yourself is a beautiful alternative and necessary addition to your connection relationships 
 
As a side note entirely (this wasn’t planned but it seems extremely apt to mention) the ETPHD day of body reconnection is designed for exactly this – connection to yourself; connection to others and a day of joy
 
So if you feel you struggle with meeting people who ‘get it’, or your friends are always busy, get one of the remaining tickets here
 
Whatever you do this weekend to meet your quota of joy and connection, remember to frame this as adding to your life, adding to your days, instead of getting rid of all the things you don’t want
 
Have a joyful , connected weekend
 
I’m always here,
Em