I began training in the gym around 5 years ago, not on a mission to lose weight, but to tone up and generally feel better about myself. I loved how weight training could change your entire physique and I was in awe of some of the girls I’d seen on the Internet. I wanted shape, I wanted muscles, and I wanted abs and after a couple of years of training I sort of fell into competing. For 3 years I competed in bikini competitions, I followed a strict ‘clean’ diet during prep – no sugar, no dairy, no variety. It did the job and I got lean, but come off-season I would binge on all the foods I hadn’t been allowed. Some days I’d try and make up for it, eating less, exercising more, but at the end of the day I would still binge.
Last summer I was at a complete loss having chosen to take a year out. My training felt like I was just going through the motions, I’d lost my reason, my purpose in the gym. Binges had become a regular occurrence to ‘comfort’ these feelings and I increasingly becoming unhappy with how I looked.
I had been following Emilia for a while. She a bit of a phenomenon in the bodybuilding industry. Not only was this a lady that was well educated when it came to nutrition, she kept health at the forefront of her journey. She was open and honest and seemed to actually want to help and educate people. I thought she was truly inspiring and I finally found the courage to contact her to help get me back on track.
Since working together we have seen my training and strength come on leaps and bounds, I’m back in loving it – working on areas I want to improve, as opposed to working to fit the judges criteria. I always used to look in the mirror and scrutinise myself…seeing flaws, areas that weren’t good enough. These days, whilst naturally I still care about how I look, I am finally beginning to truly appreciate my body, for what it can do for me and I want to look after it. I’m eating healthy, nutritious and varied foods and my skin, hair and hormones have thanked me for it.
And what about the binges? As crazy as it sounds they’re a thing of the past! Whilst I still have occasional wobbles (the urges every now and again to demolish a pack of biscuits can still be quite strong), Emilia has given me the tools I need to help me to overcome them. I am able to enjoy meals out without them spiralling out of control, I have eaten some of my main trigger foods and be able to eat them mindfully, enjoy them whilst eating and not lead into binges or feelings of guilt.
Each week I am still taken aback by how far I’ve come. Battling eating disorders for over half my life, I finally am beginning to feel like I have a healthy relationship with food. I no longer feel guilt surrounding foods; I no longer feel the need to over exercise or restrict foods and no longer seek food for comfort. I enjoy food, I enjoy training and I love my body.
I cannot thank Emilia enough for turning my life around.”