It’s 2.5 weeks out. I’m writing this post freezing cold at 6pm, wrapped in my Christmas pjs and counting down the minutes until my next meal.
But the past few days I’ve had a realisation. I feel like mentally, I’ve won this competition already. I am the healthiest I have ever been, both in mind and body. Yes I’m lean, yes I’m hungry and cold and a little irritable. But I am waking up every day with a thirst for life, excited to be doing what I’m doing and ready to smash the day in the most positive way possible. The little things don’t matter anymore (apart from maybe those that get me at my most irritable – do you need to chew / breathe / be silent so loudly?!).
I am fully in the knowledge that I’m stepping on that stage as the happiest and the healthiest. Yes i can’t wait for pizza, but I’m not deprived and not craving and not obsessing over treat foods (ok so maybe that last part is a bit of a lie). I haven’t resorted to any drastic starvation diet. I haven’t taken any crazy supplements, fat burners, metabolism boosters or anything else. The most extreme I’ve gone is a few too many coffees and wheatgrass shots.
I did it! I started this year with a mental goal, to achieve peace with my mind and body. To be strong, independent and when times got tough, not destroy my body in return. I’ve learnt that if I have a hard time, I can go lift the crap out of that hard time and then go home and feed the crap out of it! I no longer have a hard time, go run for 2 hours, starve or binge and then feel bad and repeat the cycle. I have achieved my goal.
So regardless of what happens now, I am 100% happy with this journey, so excited for a day of sparkles and peanut butter and meeting new friends, and so happy to be completing this stage of my journey having won! I did it! Bring on a day of posing, partying and peanut butter celebrations!!!